No Sex in My City: Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys


Season 1, Episode 4: Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys

"Shouldn't we be dating men our own age?"

After Carrie and Big keep bumping into each other at social events, they finally make plans to see each other. Is it a date? Is it a thing? Who knows, because he's always bailing early or bringing along a friend. While Carrie waits for Big to decide what they're doing, she starts hanging out with twenty-something Sam. Miranda and Samantha are also dating/sleeping with twenty-something guys. Carrie gets a rush from making out with her younger man all over the place, but eventually sees his twenty-something lifestyle for what it is. (Hint: Using toilet paper as a coffee filter.) Charlotte has a dilemma when her latest picture-perfect man asks her to have anal sex. (Spoiler Alert: She declines.)

My Favorite Outfit


I'm not usually a fan of fur (faux or not) but I've always liked little Carrie with her big hair and her big fur coat.

Character I Most Identify With: Miranda

Not a lot in this episode is specifically relatable to me but I tend to side with Miranda's outlook on all these issues. She's straight forward about why she's dating twenty-something Skipper ("It's a fuck thing.") and she has good advice to help Charlotte with her up-the-butt decision ("If you do this, is he going to respect you more, or respect you less?")

"I realized I had just entered an interesting chapter in my life. I had outgrown the boys of my past and not quite grown into the men of my future."

It's the dating equivalent of Britney's "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman." It's a pretty standard sentiment for twenty-somethings. We all feel unsure about our status of "adult". Are we there yet? Seeing a women in her thirties think about her life in the same way makes me wonder if we ever make it through to the other side. Will there always be some part of my life that I feel I'm not still this, but I'm not yet that?

I can't really be in the same boat as these thirty-something ladies dating twenty-something guys because I am in my twenties. (I mean, what am I gonna do- date teenagers? Isn't that illegal?) However, the issue isn't specifically the age different, but the lifestyle difference. Carrie never sees Sam again after she sees his disgusting apartment, but Miranda dates Skipper for a while (and again later) because, despite being younger, he is a smart, mature man who can hold his own against Miranda's constant cynicism.

One reason a twenty-something guy gives for liking women in their thirties touches on a cultural phenomenon that is still alive today; women being grateful for men doing the bare minimum. This younger guy suggests that older women are so easy to please with any "bullshit nice thing". This probably speaks more about women in their thirties being sick of dating men their own age because they don't want the same things while men in their twenties are eager to please. These days, it seems that men want to be rewarded, and some women give them credit, for being a basically decent human being. A guy says he's a feminist and women want to raise him on a pedestal. A guy wants appreciation from a girl because he didn't take advantage of her while she was passed out drunk. This is a feminist issue that effects both men and women. Men should be upset that women think so little of men's behaviour that one nice gesture gets rewarded. Women should hold everyone to the same standard of "decent human being"; potentially dateable men don't get a lower bar to start from.

That's another reason I relate to Miranda in general. She never gives anyone a break because they're a man, or have something going on in their life. She expects a decent level of humanity from people and will not take shit from anyone.