I'm SAD ✚ Tuesdays with Tish
’Tis the season to be sad, I tell myself, it’s not just me. Debatable. Yes, lack of sunlight and the cold and the snow affects my overall mental state. But I’ve also got my own shit dragging me down, so it’s just compounded, I guess.
Let’s stick to blaming Winter. Winter makes me feel trapped. Trapped in a lot of clothes. Trapped between piles of snow. The world around me is literally more cramped and smaller. Everything is hidden. I only see sidewalks (sometimes) and roads. I wrap myself up, tighten my muscles against the cold and stiffly walk to a bus. I go from inside to inside as quickly as possible. Even when the sun is out, I cannot enjoy it because I still need to be outside as little as possible. Actually, my office doesn’t have windows, so I lack sunlight all year and the fluorescents give me headaches.
It’s almost over, I tell myself. It’s February. Just 28 days and then it’s March. March will break Winter. That annual March heatwave that melts everything and confuses your wardrobe when you suddenly need to wear shorts but haven’t shaved your legs in three months. It’ll get cold again and then there’s always that snow storm in April but then that finally melts and it gets warmer and the sun is still out even once you’re home from work. Ah, the sun. Yes, before I know it, I’ll be out on my balcony in my sun hat. I’ll also be in a sweatshirt and possibly a blanket but I will be OUTSIDE BY CHOICE! Yes, soon. Soon…
So, I was shopping for a S.A.D. lamp and found this epic review, which I share here as a photo of a screen I took earlier because when I went back to the item to find it and link or screenshot it, I couldn’t find it.
I’ll probably still be sad, but the light may help me be more productive while sad by helping me stay awake past sunset at 5pm.
A couple years ago, there was a heatwave in February (thanks, climate change) and I got fired. Unrelated. But a day you get fired is not a good day, and yet, when I got home from being fired, I went outside to shovel snow. In a hoodie. In the sun. And, like, it felt good to be outside in 12ºC in the sun even if my life just got kicked in the dick again.
In conclusion, I am sad and have S.A.D. and the percentage of each in my overall bleh-ness is unclear, but I’m going to shine a bright light at my face and see if I’ll start doing more than watch Bob’s Burgers in the evenings.
Searching for Schitt's Creek gifs reminded me that I need to start watching the new season before my gif searching gives me spoilers!
See you next Tuesday!
Bonus Material: If you want to actually learn about Seasonal Affective Disorder, my brilliant friend Nancy wrote about it on her biomedical blog because she's AMAZING! Read it here. Do it.