Never Will I Ever ✚ Tuesdays with Tish
Hi, I don’t want kids. Not to birth, not to raise, not to babysit, not to look at or hear or smell or be anywhere near. No to that.
Parenthood is probably the only big Never I am sure of in my life. I know this is true because I say so. And also because other big No thank yous about my life are actually not totally unimaginable like parenting. I’m very No thanks about marriage and all the (heteronormative, misogynist) traditions around it but I will admit to daydreaming about a ring on my finger and a black lace wedding dress (of course I’d wear black!). But I don’t secretly indulge in “Well I don’t really want to but if I did, this is how I would do it”-type daydreams about parenting. Have I already ruled out such traditions as my father walking me down the aisle (this is my time to shine, bitch), bridesmaids, and bouquets for my hypothetical-never-gonna-happen wedding? Yes. Have I decided what I’ll name my kid(s) and whether I’ll homeschool? No. Not even a little bit. It doesn’t appeal to me so much it’s not even a crazy wild daydream just for fun. Honestly, I’ll daydream about “What if I only had two months to live?” before “What if I had kids?”
(Wait- Is this just a cry for help from someone spending too much time in her daydream worlds than reality???)
There aren’t a lot of other Nevers for my life. Things I know I would never ever want/do if I can help it. I mean, I’m bi, I can’t even say I’d never date/love/fuck any particular type of person (except a person with kids).
They say “never say never” but I will never be a parent.
I guess I like having one thing for sure in my life, or that I know I want for my life. Except it’s something I’m sure I’ll never do. There are plenty more things that I’ll never do (“hard” drugs, murder, other major crimes if I can help it). I don’t know anything I for sure will do. But can anyone? Even when you make plans, shit happens. Because anything you plan for your life involves other people and people change. You could try to plan your career, achievements, money, life partner, your health. Nope, none of that can be set in stone.
So all you can rely on is yourself. What’s that quote- you can’t choose your circumstances, you can only choose your attitude about your circumstances? So instead of investing in the idea that your perfect life has this, that, and the other thing, you gotta work on being happy with whatever life gives you, and satisfied that you tried your best even if you don’t get the result you want. That’s hard! I just want things! I want what I want and I don’t know that feeling ~at peace with my inner being~ really feels as good as the high of getting what I want because I think I fucking deserve it.
In summary, keep your kids away from me and know that I am at any moment dissatisfied with life because I can’t have everything go exactly the way I want all the time.
Sharing is Caring: I’ve been catching up on Allison and Gaby’s podcast Just Between Us. Love these girls and their topixxx!
See you next Tuesday, bitches.